Easter

Well, it's Easter Eve and I am working. I am trying to focus on the true meaning of this holiday. It really should be the most important celebration to Christians. I would like to be able to spend it with family but since I am in the middle of my 7 on its just not possible. So I am tying to reflect on the very intimate nature of my relationship with Christ. It's so hard to understand the love God has for us. I think about it often. Why does He love me so much that he would let Jesus suffer so terribly? What kind of love does that? It makes me ashamed, too. I do not live every moment thankful of this incredible sacrifice. I wish I did, but I don't. I am usually too wrapped up in me myself and I to consider how good life is and more importantly how wonderful God is. I am just glad He understands me, because I don't think it's possible to understand Him. But He doesn't ask us to understand, does He? He just asks us to believe and to have faith. So rather than feel sorry for myself for not getting to go to church and visit with family in the morning, I am going to think about Jesus and what He did, what we commemorate and celebrate on Easter...that He is risen, He is risen indeed.