Goals

I have been bummed out lately because I don't seem to be hitting my "little" goals. But now that I have had some time to think about my new lifestyle I realize that my goals need a little tweaking:
#1. I can't jog. My plantar facitis (heel spurs) simply will not allow it. This may change as I continue to loose weight but only by a little bit. The sad truth is bone spurs do not simply go away with weight loss. They may get to be less bothersome though so I am still hoping I will not have to have surgery for them. I did do a little jogging while on vacation at Hi Vali but I definitely paid for it as I hobbled around the next few days. I will have to stick to walking which everyone says is just as good. Twice while on vacation I woke up before everyone else and went for a 2 mile walk/jog...it was awesome. I have NEVER made it a point to exercise while on vacation so this was a huge deal to me.

#2. I need to wait a while before I bother with challenging my clothing choices. I wanted to be able to wear more "summery" clothes while on vacation. I did wear shorts a few times but I was very uncomfortable with the way I looked. I am just going to have to give myself more time and more lbs. lost before I test the "sundress" waters...there's still Labor Day! And we will be at Hi Vali again celebrating Ron and Marian's anniversary. So maybe a cute sundress for the END of summer?

After sulking and being a whiny baby most of last week I have been able to look at what I am doing and still find things to be proud of. It's just so hard because I want to see more. But slow and steady is what will make this a real life-changing accomplishment. I simply have too much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful husband, a loving family and the most incredible friends. I have a house full of cats that are exceptionally affectionate and I am very thankful for all of them. And for the first time in a long time I am finding it easier to talk to God. And I mean really talk to Him. Not the typical "Thank you for this day..." which is how I used to pray. I am re-learning how to converse with the Most High God. This above all things is what I am happy about right now.

Feeling BLAH...

...comes from missing Stephen. I love my job, and I hate to complain. But it is hard that for 7 nights straight he is sitting at home bored without me and I am up here thinking about how BADLY I want to be home with him. Just 1 more night after tonight. I am really looking forward to the end of June because I am taking 14 days off in a row!! 7 of those days will be spent having fun with the Hardwick clan at Hi Vali. Now, I must admit that I am a little disappointed in myself as far as my goals go. I am definatly not in swimsuit shape yet, and it will be a challenge for me to find some cute summer clothes that I feel confident in. I think I was just trying to rush myself down 50 lbs. I should know that fast won't cut it. But I am still very proud to be getting exercise. I have lost 6 more lbs in the last 4 weeks, which is still very good. Healthy, steady weight loss is the key to long-term success in Weight Watchers. I have had to curb my jogging enthusiasm though. My heel spurs were just too painful. Going to keep trying different things though. Never give up.

Queen Slacker

I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks now. Things have been a little nutso lately. So to make it short and sweet: I have done very well making it a point to go to the gym and stay there for an hour sweating my butt off. I am jogging about 6 minutes during my 30 minutes on the treadmill. I just had my last session with Karen, my trainer. She kicked my butt in order to leave a lasting impression! I am feeling very positive about things. I have been doing a good job of tracking my points and finding new foods to keep things interesting. My sweet husband has gone 36 days without smoking and I am loving him so very much for it. I am praising God for it. I want to spend as many years as I can loving Stephen and him not smoking tells me that he wants to stick around too. I can't believe that after 3 yrs. of sweet blissful marriage I can still say that I am continually falling in love with him. I am overcome with him, it's a fact. I never imagined that such a wonderful human being could ever love me the way he does...sigh, I miss him when I am working. Can't wait to get done at the gym this morning so I can go crawl in bed beside him and cuddle. After a good hot shower of course!

Back to work

Well, it was a short 6 days off. Stephen and I were able to spend 2 whole days together...it was awesome. I stuck to my gym routine and I am so glad to be in a more positive mind-set. I still don't love to work out, but I am really relishing the feeling I get when I jog. I am only able to do it for a minute, then I walk to recover. But in a 35 minute treadmill session I jog 5 minutes, just not all at once. Either way, I am proud of myself and I know that I can do this. I was able to log a 2lb. loss last week and am looking forward to another one when I get home this morning. My little goals are starting to look very attainable. I have found that browsing the internet for clothes I would like to buy in a few months is another source of motivation!

Day 3 at the Gym

So far so good, huh? I can't believe that I didn't talk myself out of going to the gym for 3 days in a row. In fact, I had a little breakthrough tonight. I was walking on the treadmill and sort of experimenting with speed, stride length, etc. I figured out that I could walk faster longer with shorter strides. Suddenly I realized the gym was empty and without even thinking about it I started to jog!! I only did it for a minute, but I did it. I walked for a few minutes after that then I did it again for another 45 seconds. I was so proud of myself. All over one little minute. But now I know I can do it and I WILL be able to do it more and more as time goes by. I almost cried. Then I thanked God for giving me the strength to do it. It really was a GOd thing because the whole time I was walking I kept thinking to myself it would be a while before I was in any shape to try jogging. Then all of a sudden I was doing it. I can't describe the feeling. I think I finally feel like this is the time that weight loss is going to last.

I Did It!!

Well, I kept my word and I went to the gym today. I did not go when I left work yesterday morning as I had planned. I was feeling very fussy after fighting with my chemistry analyzers for 2 hours. All I wanted to do was go crawl in bed, which I did. I woke up earlier than usual and Stephen asked me to meet him for lunch. I decided that if I was going to lunch, I would HAVE to go to the gym afterward...and I did! I know it's just one day and that continuing to exercise is whats always been my downfall, but I am feeling pretty determined. And as an added bonus my sweet husband came up to the hospital tonight just to bring me a beautiful yellow rose...for his best friend. He really is my best friend, and the best husband ever.

Feeling Positive

I started logging my points again today and am even thinking about going to the gym when I get off at 7 a.m. It sure won't kill me to walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes before I head home. This whole change of attitude came from a simple conversation with Stephen about cooking! We will be heading to the Frio River in July and are planning the meal we will be cooking for his family. Each couple takes a night to feed the entire family. Just thinking about being at the Frio sort of jolted me back to reality. I have some goals that I am not going to reach if I don't start exercising! One of those goals is to be simply be more comfortable with myself when we go to the river. It's a real bummer to HATE getting in the river because of how ashamed you are of your body. It's a shame to feel like you have to wear 3/4 inch sleeves and blue jeans in July because you can't wear a sleevless shirt and shorts. SO, I am feeling the determination seeping back into my veins. Looking forward to June and a pretty sundress!

Time Flies

It's been over a week so I figure I better get back on the blogging horse. It's been an eventful week but not a fun one. It started with a torrential downpour that flooded 2 of my cars. It took 2 days to dry and clean one of them. The second one was about to get some attention on the 3rd day after the rain but I got an aweful chest cold that I still haven't gotten over. It's a good thing I didn't get to clean my other little car up though because we got another flooding rain last friday and it got water in it again. I was at work and had to wade out into our ER parking lot to move the mustang before IT flooded a second time. Either way now I am certain that anytime there is a chance for rain it's gonna flood and I am going to end up wet, trying to rescue cars. It's not been fun. Being sick helped me lose a few lbs but I have not been following my WW eating plan properly. I've just been lazy but I am ready to start again. I hit the -25 lbs mark and its slowing down, as it did before. That's my fault. I just can't seem to get motivated to exercise. I've used the whole "i'm sick" excuse for a week now. Poor me! Poor me! I just don't know what to do.

Another LONG night

Only 3 more nights to go and then I will be happily taking my full 7 days off. The weekends are tough because I don't get to see my sweet husband except for when I crawl into the bed in the morning. But after Sunday it's all downhill. I decided I would make hime Easter dinner today even if it was just for him and his buddy. Popped a ham in the oven before I fell asleep and then woke up 4 hours later to take it out. Tried desperatly to get back to sleep but it just wasn't happening. So on top of being worn out from the last few days I am tired as well. And I didn't eat on program. Well, I stayed within my points but I didn't eat breakfast and that always makes me just ravenous when I actually do eat. I am looking forward to really tracking my points well this week in hopes of a nice 2 or 3 lb. loss by friday. I have been steadily losing a lb. a week but would really like to see a little more this week. The problem is I am not exercising. I just don't understand why this is so hard for me. My heel spurs are always going to hurt, i'm just going to have to live with that. I'm just LAZY. My honey says he is going to take me to the driving range friday, to see if perhaps I could get excited about playing golf. It would be great for both of us! And he even seems excited about teaching me which I find bizzare because I am not a patient learner. I hope I get into it. I want to do something active, but something fun, something I will really look forward to doing.